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June 29, 2005

instigators and attitudes

A phase...a phase that will pass as quickly as the last began...isn't that what we always hear...isn't that what I find myself telling other moms asking for my advice...

I have been trying to figure out how to summarize the last few weeks. I have not been feeling well for quite some time. Basically, I run bits of energy throughout the day and attempt to act as though I am fine...and, no, this overwhelming fatigue is not just a consequence of having three small children. Asking for help and delegating are not my strong points. Mark and I finally decided that I should see a doctor in Clarksville. After reviewing my symptoms and medical history, the doctor decided that we should start with an elimination diet and detox program. Once food allergies are uncovered or ruled out we can look for other problems. Dairy, soy, red meat, wheat, sugar, coffee, tea, tomatoes, potatoes, and some beans and peas are all among the long list of foods to avoid. With the help of some good friends, I have been able to figure out this diet and am following it as well as possible. Separating food from emotional lows, entertainment with friends, and filling a void has been the real obstacle.

Posted by cooleys at 10:01 PM | TrackBack

June 14, 2005

chronic lack of solitude

I haven't updated for a while due to a lack of internet access and the unexpected passing of my digital camera. My kids are still amazingly adorable and continue to be quite the handful (as I am so often reminded). I was able to get another camera, so more great pictures are to come once I can figure out this replacement.

What has filled my days since the last entries? While reading a segment of a book about busy moms, I came across the phrase "chronic lack of solitude." That would be an accurate description of my days. I do understand that this is the life of a stay-at-home mom, and I would not change one aspect of our life together. There are, however, those moments when I really need time away--time to see a glimpse of the individual that God has created and continues to work in apart from my role as a mother. Fully realizing that much of my purpose is tied into my family and community, I do wonder how much of myself gets lost beneath the daily lists of tasks to be completed. It is only in those quiet moments alone with a good book; walking alone without my family standing before me to hide my insecurities; listening to live music while focusing on lyrics that put words to personal struggles and grief...it is in those moments that I can really feel what I am and the person that I am becoming. These instances are precious yet seem to fly away as quickly as they are found.

Posted by cooleys at 11:29 PM | TrackBack